The last thing on earth we want is to be a bad parent. And, unfortunately, so many of us believe that putting our kids first means being a great parent. I want to gently put that shitty belief in the trash. Because that’s where it belongs.
We should put ourselves first. That not only puts us in an amazing position to show up as our best selves for our kids (and US), but it also shows our kids that they can (and should) put themselves first.
With that in mind…
I’m an incredibly selfish parent.
I do things for myself.
Spend time with myself.
Play, write and perform music.
Do things alone.
Get to the gym.
I follow my joy.
(G is currently on a 10-day road trip with Rex, which represents her putting herself first! She is BIG time putting her joy first. And, it’s also critical that I create the space for her to follow HER joy. In fact… I’ve recently learned it’s just as important as putting my joy first…)
And, this allows me to pursue my dreams and aspirations.
And, that allows me to show up as the best me for myself.
And… for Rex. (and for G)
Being selfish as a parent is an incredible thing for our kids.
It also teaches them through example (the way kids learn) how important it is to take care of ourselves.
Don’t tell your kids you can do anything. Show them.
Don’t tell your kids they matter. Show them that you matter to YOU.
They don’t care what you say. They care and learn through who you are.
Let me be clear. I’m not saying ignore your kids wants or needs. I’m not saying don’t be a safe space for them to share their feelings and experience. I’m saying that giving to ourlseves first helps us show up for them the best we can.
They will experience a far greater connection with you while learning from your example.